A collection of truisms on life, love and other inconsequential matters.

Draw from the Kundalini of wisdom that is also known as the What Ho! guide to meetings.

A history of the theory of evolution from before Charles Darwin to now.

It was the best of days. it was the worst of days.

The nature of time from classical mechanical, relativistic and quantum mechanical perspectives.

What I believe in. Inspired by a TED lecture.

Tales from the crypt.

The cosmic calendar crunched down to one year.

Yesterday, What Ho! received this letter from God which I feel obliged to share.

Why is there something in the universe, instead of nothing as you would expect. On the nature of the universe.

Waking up to the gloomy and harsh reality that they now have nothing left in their otherwise empty lives, after Modi wins big in elections.

Who is a Hindu? What does it mean to be a Hindu? What is the Hindu way of life? My take.

Part Two of the Indian English Phrases series.

Dhoom 3 is Aamir Khan’s gig and every one else is just a part of it.

The ultimate guide to winning arguments and becoming a debate ninja.

Find yourself before you fall in love with India. I will guarantee you that it will be a love of a lifetime.

A Harvard study showed that just two aspects dominate the formula for a good life.

I’ve founded the world’s largest religion. You might want to read this because you’re part of it.

Claims he was coerced into listening for well over an hour.

Say “he’s still the same shallow and self centred chap we’ve always known.”

If its citizens stopped having opinions, India’s GDP could grow by an additional 5%.

Says “claim without merit and based on a fantastic notion that we’re out here somehow plotting human downfall.”

Designs a grand unified mother-of-all theories hypothesis that assigns responsibility to Modi for every possible human tragedy.

Extroverts and introverts are the yin and the yang of the world. We need them both.

Rising star leader finally gets his due recognition in his eighties.

Here’s where the rubber hits the road. Can Narendra Modi repeat his Gujarat success on a national scale? Is Modi good for India?

Satish Kumar, 48, said, “I’m a little worried that I’m not able to tell if there is a government or not.”

There is something to be said for the beauty inherent in uncertainty.

An Easy Proof for the Pythagorean Theorem. As easy as it gets.

Part 2 of the Maha Kumbh Mela trip report. Ayodhya – the city built by the Gods.

My experiences at the Maha Kumbh Mela. Part 1.

Corruption. Voter education. Terrorism. You name the problem. I have the solution. Here’s what I’d do if I became the Prime Minister of India.

Sushil Shinde asks how accurate are fortune cookies. And Dr. What Ho! answers.

How we make errors in judgement. The differences between plausibility and probability.

This review has been cleared by the Censor Board, approved by 58 fringe groups, cut by 223 words and blessed by Amma.

Would you make a split second decision to kill one person to save five others? Welcome to the trolley problem.

Want to crack the Twitter code? Read the definitive list of 10 things you need to know about Twitter.

A comprehensive collection of invaluable and powerful life lessons from Bollywood movies.

A working class Muggle wants to enter politics. Dr. What Ho! responds.

The Lion King speaks, straight from the heart.

The time has come to confront the question that’s been on the lips of women since the dawn of time. “Why do men suck?”

There are a few good reasons why trains are way cooler than planes. And, here they are.

Much water flowed under the bridge this year. Recap of the events of 2012.

A letter from an ordinary citizen of India. To whomsoever it may concern.

RIL Chairman vows to make govt more accountable to him. Goldman Sachs appointed lead advisor for acquisition. Reliance shares shoot up 1000 pct on news.

A wonderful aspect of Hindu cosmology is that it is consonant with that of modern scientific cosmology.

What is creativity?

According to reports, repeated use of the word ‘qualia’ has supposedly sparked the latest groundswell of outrage. Chopra apologizes and gives up on humanity.

Ministry describes the second law as “a nuisance and anachronism.” Govt. also expresses annoyance with concepts of economics such as supply-demand and fair market pricing. In other news, Greece shocked to learn that it is now owned by Suresh Kalmadi.

Gloom and panic seize fans. Publishers fear this could be the last nail in India’s literary coffin. Renowned author, Chetan Bhagat, today admitted that he did not know what to write about anymore. “I’ve exhausted all the mundanely commercial possibilities that one can write about. I’ve written about college, working in call centers and getting […]

Following a daylong meeting spent huddling with his Cabinet colleagues and coalition partners, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh announced today that “the best bet for Indian people was to follow the dictum laid out in the Bhagavad Gita”. “Listen, just do your duty. And, give up all your expectations,”, said Singh, “This is the great truth […]

Dear People of Earth, I believe that I possess an abundance of patience. Try carving out the Grand Canyon for millions of years to know what I mean. Yet, I’m worried that you folks are on the verge of exhausting this inexhaustible patience of mine. Allow me to share a few observations with you, in […]

Sushil Kumar Shinde gives us the low down on national security.

What captures the doctrine of Hinduism? Some say that it is the Ramayana. Others say it is the Bhagavad Gita. Yet others will point to Vedanta.

A must read guide for parents of all ages.

Loot-and-Scoot is a new service from What Ho! carefully crafted to help arrange an urgent and secretive getaway for an Indian politician looking to disappear without trace, should the need arise at any stage in his career. Please share this application form with anyone who might be interested. APPLICATION FORM NOTE:  Loot-and-Scoot is a cash-only […]

I’m writing about something that happened a long time back. In fact, it was so long back that I was in 8th standard in school. My school was run by the Church of South India. The class was an eclectic mix of rich and not-so-rich, mostly Tamil, Malayali and Telugu speaking, Christian, Muslim and Hindu […]

This is a world for the privileged few. The rest of us just happen to live in it. Here’s a pre boarding announcement that makes my case

Big changes are coming to Heaven. In a letter, the Supreme One lays them out.

Does the simple apology merit existence? Is “sorry” worth the trouble of expression? I pondered on the hurts, pains, aches, anger, disappointment and disillusionment we cause each other. When considered against the backdrop of our monumental blunders, our abject apologies seem inadequate.

When it comes to his own specialty, evolutionary biology, there is none better than Richard Dawkins. But the purpose of this book is not to explain science. It is rather, as he tells us, “to raise consciousness,” which is quite another thing.

What is the Higgs boson? Why is it called the God particle? How can you find it?

Indians occupy a special place in the pantheon of insensitivity. We are a nation of uncaring, indifferent boors, whose lives are only occasionally punctuated by those (increasingly rare) Satyameva Jayate moments, when we sit down and pretend to care about our fellow citizens. Why are we a nation of dimwitted fools?

A short interpretation of a “bliss mantra” from the Taitriya Upanishad in the Vedas.

Empathy is the ability to view the world from another’s perspective. Of all emotions, it’s empathy that makes us human. Some would even say it’s empathy that makes us divine. So how exactly does empathy work from a neurological perspective? What triggers empathy? Can we be trained to be empathetic?

Didi calls for ban on electricity. Kingfisher to turn itself into a social network. Tendulkar calls on Syrian president Assad to stand firm and not step down. Kapil Sibal announces plans to create a “mother of all unified exams.” This week’s What Ho! report.

What does it take to make it in the big, bad world of business? The answer lies in the eleventh commandment.

Hallmark cards, for those unique occasions that arise only in India.

My living will, for the record.

Hafiz Saeed, the leader of of Jama’at-ud-Daw’ah, widely considered to be a cover for Lashkar-e-Toiba, recently answered questions from militants, movie industry, politicians and others in a live web chat. Here below is the transcript of the chat obtained by the What Ho! Report team.

If Rome is the eternal city, Istanbul has to be the timeless city, having endured centuries of struggle and change. Notes from a recent trip to Turkey

Who am I? That’s a simple question. Yet one without a simple answer.

In an intriguing twist to the 2,000+ year old history of the religion, a prominent leader of Tibetan buddhists today stepped forward with the startling and controversial claim that the core tenet of his faith – “to stay in the moment” – was perhaps over-rated.

Congratulations. You’ve made it!

It’s easy to understand why Rahul Dravid is a hero. But..

If you’re not secular, you must be communal. Read the What Ho! guide to Indian politics and watch your expertise soar instantly.

Fighting has broken out between Dhoni and Sehwag factions, plunging Indian cricket into gloom and chaos. Lasith Malinga’s confidence accidentally bombed in collateral damage. Read more from the What Ho! report

Prices have sky rocketed. And it doesn’t seem to faze the affluent residents of Garden City in the least. Profligacy is rampant and purses seem to have lost their strings. These are heady times in Bangalore. When is this going to end? I have no idea. Until then, it looks like the popcorn at the movies is going to cost a little more.

The evolution of the circus that is Valentine’s day from its 12th century pagan origins.

A simple guide to the 2G scam. What every concerned Indian citizen should know.

With the UPA government bogged down in scandal, internecine and coalition politics, the inability of BJP to cash in on the waning popularity of the government has led scientists to believe that the party may not exist at all. “Normally, when the government’s approval declines significantly, it is reasonable to expect the Opposition to gain […]

Everyone wants to be secular these days. The newspapers are full of important people who are anxious to let everyone know how important it is to be secular. “The minorities are such a maligned lot. They cannot take care of themselves. It is up to us – the enlightened majority, to take care of them. […]

The history of India on a Facebook wall.

The definitive guide to driving in India, rated five stars on Lonely Planet.

We live in an incredibly fascinating world. I found more evidence of this in the last couple of weeks while reading a couple of different but related articles. The first insight came from a video by Professor Philip Zimbardo on the “The Secret Powers of Time“. The good professor posits that we, humans, tend to […]

In an aggressive bid to stay afloat, Kingfisher Airlines has announced massive discounts for passengers who are willing to fly the plane. However, the airlines has put in strict qualification standards for eligibility.  “Only those with a two wheeler license and a helmet are eligible for the scheme”, cautioned the airlines spokesperson. “Also, preference will […]

In an encouraging sign, India has agreed to send its entire cabinet of Union Ministers into Iran in an internationally orchestrated attempt to disrupt and halt Iran’s nuclear program. “These guys can stop anything from happening. They are an A-team when it comes to creating internal tussles, leaking confidential information, paralyzing programs and not taking […]

Scientists from the Indian Institute of Technology, Delhi unveiled a radically new “Theory of Unintelligent Design“, which they said was inspired by the bitter feud waged over the years between the theory of evolution and the theory of intelligent design. Providing evidence in support of the new theory, they introduced Exhibit A “Digvijay Singh“. However, […]

So, what does wisdom say about matters of what the poets have called the ‘heart’?

BCCI has announced bold steps to revamp Indian cricket to make it even less appealing to fans. The President of BCCI said, at a press conference, “We’ve taken specific policy decisions around match fixing which are path breaking in nature. All series played by India in India will be won by India. We also expect […]

If I had a dime for everytime I got this question from my younger one (in fifth grade), I’d have assets so disproportionate to my income that would put the local MLA to shame. “Why do I have to learn this?” Caught off guard the first few times, I drew a blank. Quickly, I learnt to come up […]

Earlier this week, the world’s most powerful supercomputer attempted suicide when it failed to understand statements made by Digvijay Singh. The computer, in a secret location and operated by IBM, was fed twenty different statements picked at random, made by Diggy, and started emitting smoke after thirty seconds. A senior IBM official, under assurance of anonymity, said, […]

Everyone’s talking about Pakistan. You can’t run for office, nay even step out of the kitchen these days without knowing your Waziris from your Mehsuds and your Lashkars from your Jaishes. Not everyone knows what they are talking about. After all, there are lots of guys over there doing some incredibly bizarre stuff, that it’s not […]

Union minister Sharad Pawar became the latest politician to be assaulted, when 27 year old Harvinder Singh landed a slap on his face. Harvinder is being described as a “hot head, mentally unbalanced with poor communication skills”. Well, no surprise, today he was offered his own prime time talk show on Times Now. Upon being told […]

This week, we’re starting a series called “Headline News”, which will contain only headlines, baseless rumors and no  substantial news whatsoever. Hey, if it works for Times of India, it should work for us, right? Let’s break a coconut and off we go. The king of good times has been grounded for want of money. Kingfisher Airlines, […]

There’s never been a better time to start a religion. Here’s the What Ho! guide to starting your own religion.

By contemplating the nature of light – perhaps the most ethereal and spiritual of all “things” — we can begin to understand our own existence.

It’s not clear why men and women decided to get together and start this thing called the human race. But one thing is clear – that LSD was definitely involved.

A guide to economics told in a fairy tale format without a fairy tale ending. Prescribed for ages 7 and up.

Once in a while, you have a force that arises in this universe which grows its strength only through changing the very conditions from which it arose. Gandhi. Einstein. Jobs. Yes, he belongs on that list of people we find hard to describe with words, and can appreciate only by the impact they had on our […]

What are neutrinos? Can neutrinos travel faster than light?

In 2008, we saw collapse of financial institutions, led by US banks, unprecedented for its severity. Now, history appears to be about to repeat itself in Europe. Since we seem to be headed into the open season for bailouts, I decided to send in my bailout application right away to beat the rush and get ahead […]

What can you write about Rajnikanth that has not been already said?

A review of Dr. Stephen Hawking’s “The Grand Design” by guess who?

Height matters. Is this fact or fiction?  Bad news for short people never seems to end. Their cup of woes continues to overflow. First it was those studies which showed that short people get fewer dates, less promotions and earned less than taller colleagues (because their bosses were taller?) Again, those infamous studies told us that […]

Height matters. Is this fact or fiction?  Bad news for short people never seems to end. Their cup of woes continues to overflow. First it was those studies which showed that short people get fewer dates, less promotions and earned less than taller colleagues (because their bosses were taller?) Again, those infamous studies told us that […]

According to Livemint, India is the world’s second-largest market, after China, for telecom services with 812 million subscribers at the end of March 2011. 2010, they say, was the year of the smartphone in India. We will remember these last few years as the time when the phone was transformed into anything but a phone. Hardware vendors […]

We are witnessing a remarkable period in the history of the world’s largest democracy. In just a few months, we’ve seen the Prime Minister’s Office censured by the Supreme Court (a first), a Union Cabinet Minister sent to jail (a first) for alleged involvement in the largest scam in our history, and now the spontaneous […]

Ever wonder what the statute of limitations on a college degree should be? I mean, how long should a college degree be allowed to be valid? Is a college degree really worth anything, say a decade from when you are out of college? Laughing Gas recommendation is to render all college degrees that are ten years […]

There is a lot of hand wringing about the recent downgrade of the US debt, an unprecedented event, which some say, is the beginning of the end of the amazing run of the United States of America.

The ISO2001 certified guide to handling queues in India. Identifies the five types of queue crashers.

Indian English reveals the boundless creativity of Indians and their ability to take anything and put their own indelible stamp on it.

In a world filled with noise, there is only one source for clarity in thought. Here’s the What Ho! Guide to Growing the Indian Economy.

Why would anyone want to give us an award? A few days back, we received a congratulatory message from the young folks (let’s pretend that they are young) at indiantopblogs.blogspot.com. Suspicious that the contents of the message might contain inflammatory materials or worse, substances of the exploding kind, we called in the SWAT team – […]

Google+ is out. In limited trials. So is it a facebook killer?  If you are not familiar with limited trials in the tech world, think of it as letting a select few people watch a movie premiere, so you can change the ending (if that’s possible) and also drum up publicity in advance of releasing […]

Those who forget history, they say, are doomed to repeat it. What Ho! is proud to bring you the memorable moments in the post independence history of India, as seen on a Facebook wall. Inspired by Teddy Wayne, Mike Sachs and Thomas Ng ‘s Op-Art at New York Times.

It’s hard to fathom a cheerful world while in the throes of existential angst. But, life’s not as bad as it looks. 3 reasons why.

Laughing Gas is now What Ho! at http://whatho.in. We are in the middle of unpacking the boxes, applying for gas and phone connections, figuring out where to put the TV and hanging pictures on the wall. Welcome to our new home!  Do stay and look around, and let us know what you think. Thanks for visiting! […]

For us fogeys at Laughing Gas, there is unlikely to be a moment rivaling the euphoria on this day in 1983, when Kapil’s Devils won the Prudential World Cup, in one of the greatest team efforts in Indian sports history. Scorecard: India won by 43 runs. India: 183 (54.4 overs). West Indies: 140 (52 overs). Man […]

Recently watched a movie called Tere Bin Laden, which brings us to the topic of Bollywood. There are many jobs that people do in this world. Each requires a skill of some sort. Indefatigable fortitude goes with postman territory. Rain or shine, the mail never stops. A civil engineer has to display more than average […]

This week, we take a closer look at an interesting phenomenon in which a bunch of people voluntarily squeeze themselves into a giant pressurized metal tube which is then sealed and propelled into air. Yep, we are indeed talking about the joys of flying coach class. A gentleman named Tony Januss kicked it all off when he […]

And, the survey says … the happiest nation in the world is China with a perfect score of 100/100. According to a Happiness Survey commissioned by Kim Yong Il himself, North Korea comes in at a modest number two with 98 points. The top five list of happiest nations in the world is rounded out […]

Having lived on both sides of the pond for a good many years, I can understand both reluctance and enthusiasm on part of of Indian diaspora when it comes to returning “back” to India “for good”. I’ve known better than to be in the middle of these debates, but have gleaned enough to know the […]

Last night, Chennai Super Kings beat Bangalore Royal Challengers with ridiculous ease to win their second and back-2-back IPL title.

The thinking person’s guide to honking on Indian roads. Includes a detailed, scientific explanation for why Indians honk while driving.

What happens when we die?  What we believe in this regard, interestingly, likely plays a role in the way we live our lives. For the longest time. after-life has been a source of mystery, intrigue and anxiety for humans. Every religion has its hypothesis on what happens after death. The Judaeo-Christian-Islamic versions speak of a “transfer” to a waiting […]

Oh.. the little joys of living in India! How do I describe thee? 🙂 The topic de jour is passport sized photos. Is it me or is there an insane demand for passport sized photos in this country? In all my time of living in the US (a lengthy tenure), I must have taken perhaps a couple […]

Some one once told me that everything in this world is controlled by just fifty people. These fifty people, he said, determine everything. And he meant everything. As in everything  from stock market movements to oil prices to US presidential elections to opium trafficking and mujahideen movements in Afghanistan to installing the next puppet government […]

Live from McDonalds, in HSR Layout in Bangalore. Folks, the super-sizing of India is well under way. It’s about 1 pm, as we enter the newly opened (well, 3 months back)McDonalds, walking past a mute and vaguely disturbing figurine of Ronald McDonald at the door. Once inside, we are greeted instantly by a bedlam of loud conversations, […]

Live from BDA complex, Koramangala, Bangalore: Winds of change are blowing in Egypt, Yemen, Libya and across the Middle East. The latest scene of action seems to be Imperial Hair Dressers in Koramangala in Bangalore. I was shocked this morning to find that a coup of sorts was attempted 3 weeks back. Disgruntled elements in the […]