humor

CHENNAI. JULY 17, 2013.  Describing it as a “nightmarish experience,” Avinash Iyer, 24, claimed that an elderly relative who engaged him in conversation at a cousin’s wedding went back on a promise to “cut a long story short,” and alleged that he was coerced into listening to the full version which lasted well over an […]

Despite claims that his life has been ‘totally transformed’ by attending a two week meditation retreat conducted by the Vipaassana Buddhist foundation, friends of Mr. Srijith Nair claimed that he’s still the “same shallow and self centred chap we’ve always known.” “Yeah, we were all pretty surprised at first when we heard from our buddy […]

In what’s shaping up as the debate of the year, the Universe issued a strong statement, earlier this week, denying that it was either ‘messing around’ or ‘screwing up a man’s entire life up’ and in attempt at damage control sought to downplay the fracas as “shit happens.” The saga of alleged sabotage, according to […]

A wodehousian re-telling of the tale from the Mahabharata of Bhishma and how he came to take his terrible oath of celibacy.

Corruption. Voter education. Terrorism. You name the problem. I have the solution. Bring it on.

Have a question? Need advice? Ask Dr. What Ho!. This week, we help a reader gauge the accuracy of a fortune cookie message and what it means to his career.

How to crack the twitter code! :) My contribution to that awesome thing which Subhorup Dasgupta is in the process of doing.

I’ve watched my share of Bollywood films. And here are some invaluable and subtly powerful lessons Bollywood has taught me on this rocky journey.

Middle Class Muggle writes, “I’m tired of working hard to make a living. So, I’m thinking of entering politics.” Dr. What Ho! responds.

The king of the jungle lays down the rules.Straight from the heart.

The time has come to confront the question that’s been on the lips of women since the dawn of time. “Why do men suck?”

There has been a spate of people making insane comments these days. Here’s a handy guide to help you keep track of who’s leading the “Insane Comments Derby.”

I’ve re-discovered the joys of train travel lately. And the more I think about it, there are good reasons train travel is way cooler than taking a flight.

Much water flowed under the bridge this year. Here’s a recap of the events of 2012, assembled using my tweets during the year.

It’s a crazy world we we live in. And, it’s getting increasingly hard to tell the fake news from the real news. Here’s a little test to see where you stand.

Recently, What Ho! had a chance to interview the who’s who of Indian television news media. I have the enormous pleasure of bringing you excerpts of this completely made up conversation this Diwali.

Dear Mr. Krishna Dwaipaayana, Thanks for sending in your manuscript of the “Great War” between cousins to our chief editor. Unfortunately, she’s vacationing in Shimla, and checking her emails only to see if her salary got credited. Our deputy editor recently left our company to head the literary department at DailyDeal.com. So, I’m along with three other summer interns are in charge of the slush pile. Which brings me to you.

Dear People of Earth, I believe that I possess an abundance of patience. Try carving out the Grand Canyon for millions of years to know what I mean. Yet, I’m worried that you folks are on the verge of exhausting this inexhaustible patience of mine. Allow me to share a few observations with you, in […]

Is it me or is it becoming more and more painful to log into you bank account online? Dear Online Banking Customer, In view of a recent spate of fraudulent transactions, we’re taking extra security precautions. Which is why we ask that you answer the following questions before we can allow you to log into […]

A What Ho! thesaurus of terms related to homework and school. Parent-Teacher meetings and Annual Day functions Contrary to popular belief, these are not occasions to explain to the class teacher as to why you missed an entire season of Dexter or why you have declined all social invitations, including an invitation to a dinner reception […]

Loot-and-Scoot is a new service from What Ho! carefully crafted to help arrange an urgent and secretive getaway for an Indian politician looking to disappear without trace, should the need arise at any stage in his career. Please share this application form with anyone who might be interested. APPLICATION FORM NOTE:  Loot-and-Scoot is a cash-only […]

This is a world for the privileged few. The rest of us just happen to live in it. Here’s a pre boarding announcement that makes my case

Does the simple apology merit existence? Is “sorry” worth the trouble of expression? I pondered on the hurts, pains, aches, anger, disappointment and disillusionment we cause each other. When considered against the backdrop of our monumental blunders, our abject apologies seem inadequate.

Recently, Laughing Gas completed its first year anniversary of its existence. Here’s a fan speculating that its origin might date back to much longer than that! Thank you, anonymous! All I can say that it continues to worry and amaze me simultaneously that folks are actually reading this blog.

I’m asked often by impressionable lads and gals, “What does it take to make it in the big, bad world of business?” In response, I always ask, “Can you handle the truth?” And when they nod hesitantly, I tell them, “A booming voice”. In fact, I call it the eleventh commandment.

As to whether God exists, we’re all betting. No one really knows what’s going to happen, except N. Srinivasan and BCCI. On why militant atheism does not make sense to me.

Wonder if there is a loss of morale over at Hallmark with e-cards becoming popular? Here are a few Hallmark card ideas for uniquely Indian occasions to help boost enthusiasm.

My living will, for the record.

Who am I? That’s a simple question. Yet one without a simple answer.

As you might have noticed, there is an enormous amount of mud slinging going on today, wherever you turn in our country. It is but natural then to ask the question: “Where does all this mud come from?” After months of tireless investigation, we stumbled onto the biggest mud factory in India, and went under cover to talk to their marketing chief.

If you’re not secular, you must be communal. Seen the foreign hand lately? One man’s jolt is another man’s setback. Who’s in command? And why is she high? Gems from the Indian political and media lingo

Prices have sky rocketed. And it doesn’t seem to faze the affluent residents of Garden City in the least. Profligacy is rampant and purses seem to have lost their strings. These are heady times in Bangalore. When is this going to end? I have no idea. Until then, it looks like the popcorn at the movies is going to cost a little more.

The evolution of V-day from its 12th century pagan origins (as the Roman fertility festival of Lupercalia) through its Christianization by the semi-heroic figure of St. Valentine (who secretly and illegally married off lovers and paid with his head) into its modern avatar of a blockbuster Hallmark holiday is mind boggling. What and who did the trick?

Everyone wants to be secular these days. The newspapers are full of important people who are anxious to let everyone know how important it is to be secular. “The minorities are such a maligned lot. They cannot take care of themselves. It is up to us – the enlightened majority, to take care of them. […]

Ever wonder how the history of post-independence India would look like on a Facebook wall? Wonder no more. What Ho! is at hand. Without further ado, here it is – India’s Wall on Facebook. Originally published on What Ho! here. Happy Republic Day! Inspired by Teddy Wayne, Mike Sachs and Thomas Ng ‘s Op-Art “America’s […]

The Uninformed Reader might scoff at, and even under-estimate the significance of the dark art of driving in India. To her, I must point out that data collected from observation of Indian drivers has been the only reason that scientists have been nail down the exact moment in time we homo sapiens branched off from […]

There is a famous story in Mahabharat – which shines the spotlight on Yudhishtra’s peerless wisdom. It is the tale of how the son of Dharmaraja answers the questions of a Yaksha under trying circumstances. As the story goes, each of Yudhishtra’s brothers arrives at a forest lake, and impatient to quench his thirst, ignores the […]

Scientific progress has not wiped out religion. At the same time, organized religion is losing their grip. This tale is not over, and has a few twists left

It’s not clear why men and women decided to get together and start this thing called the human race. But one thing is clear – that LSD was definitely involved.

Long long ago, there lived a farmer named Jack. He had a beautiful wife and two lovely young children. Jack was very proud of his family and worked very hard every day in his field to raise crops and vegetables so they could live comfortably. In a few years, he built a nice little house for […]

In 2008, we saw collapse of financial institutions, led by US banks, unprecedented for its severity. Now, history appears to be about to repeat itself in Europe. Since we seem to be headed into the open season for bailouts, I decided to send in my bailout application right away to beat the rush and get ahead […]

Height matters. Is this fact or fiction?  Bad news for short people never seems to end. Their cup of woes continues to overflow. First it was those studies which showed that short people get fewer dates, less promotions and earned less than taller colleagues (because their bosses were taller?) Again, those infamous studies told us that […]

According to Livemint, India is the world’s second-largest market, after China, for telecom services with 812 million subscribers at the end of March 2011. 2010, they say, was the year of the smartphone in India. We will remember these last few years as the time when the phone was transformed into anything but a phone. Hardware vendors […]

Ever wonder what the statute of limitations on a college degree should be? I mean, how long should a college degree be allowed to be valid? Is a college degree really worth anything, say a decade from when you are out of college? Laughing Gas recommendation is to render all college degrees that are ten years […]

The word “queue” traces its origins to the Latin “coda” or “cauda” for “tail”. It came to English via French (and Italian) and was first used to describe the “tail of a beast” and then extended to “a line of dancers”. The verb in its modern context of “to stand in a line” is recorded […]

As humans, we have an ability that is so utterly unique in the natural world – a behavioral pattern that was so transformative, that it effectively changed the trajectory of our evolution. We can take an innovative thought and share it with another person by simply recombining sounds we learned to make as children. Sure, almost […]

And, you thought you knew it all. In a world filled with noise and confusion, there is only one source for clarity and precision in thought. What Ho!

Those who forget history, they say, are doomed to repeat it. What Ho! is proud to bring you the memorable moments in the post independence history of India, as seen on a Facebook wall. Inspired by Teddy Wayne, Mike Sachs and Thomas Ng ‘s Op-Art at New York Times.

Recently watched a movie called Tere Bin Laden, which brings us to the topic of Bollywood. There are many jobs that people do in this world. Each requires a skill of some sort. Indefatigable fortitude goes with postman territory. Rain or shine, the mail never stops. A civil engineer has to display more than average […]

This week, we take a closer look at an interesting phenomenon in which a bunch of people voluntarily squeeze themselves into a giant pressurized metal tube which is then sealed and propelled into air. Yep, we are indeed talking about the joys of flying coach class. A gentleman named Tony Januss kicked it all off when he […]