Man alleges elderly relative reneged on promise to “cut a long story short”

CHENNAI. JULY 17, 2013.  Describing it as a “nightmarish experience,” Avinash Iyer, 24, claimed that an elderly relative who engaged him in conversation at a cousin’s wedding went back on a promise to “cut a long story short,” and alleged that he was coerced into listening to the full version which lasted well over an hour.

“It was kind of a rough ordeal and I’m still hazy about the details of how the whole thing got started. I was seated next to my uncle at my cousin’s wedding. The exchange started off innocently enough but before long, I realized that I had been slowly drawn into a hellish web of deceit and fraud. When he first began recounting his frustration with the newspaper arriving late in the mornings, I nodded politely, naively believing it to be the easiest way out of a tricky situation. In retrospect, that may have been the fatal move which sealed my fate. As he began to relentlessly delve into completely unnecessary details of his altercations with the newspaper delivery boy (who, I was told, also delivered milk and equally erratically), I developed a vague foreboding of doom and began fidgeting nervously in my seat. Sensing my impatience, (I swear) he made a clear and unequivocal promise to cut a long story short, an undertaking that was not honored at any point in the conversation. In any case, how an innocent conversation around newspaper delivery turned into a mind numbing discourse on the deteriorating state of journalism in the country boggles my mind, which continues to recover from the unanticipated ruthless assault on it. I was told later that I was observed to be in a state of uncomprehending daze for well over an hour by various passers-by and onlookers, before being rescued by my elder brother at lunch time,” said an emotional Avinash who seemed clearly shaken by the incident.

What Ho! has subsequently received confirmation from reliable insiders that the offender, identified as Sri. Sitaraman Iyer, 58, has been sequestered and isolated from contact with younger family members to avoid further untoward incidents during the wedding.

2 Replies to “Man alleges elderly relative reneged on promise to “cut a long story short””

  1. A sad but true state of affairs! the elderly are clearly in need of vict…er….listeners as they talk and the young are in no mood to oblige. Other elderly people would rather talk than listen, which leaves them little option but to collar these hapless youngsters. There is this family lore of an elderly aunt who would begin narrating how she had gone to get some curry leaves from the market which would last a good half an hour, starting with when she woke up to what she did after that till the time she realised that there were no curry leaves in the vegetable basket 🙂

    However, keeping the two generations apart is creating further rift between the two and making for more dangerous meetings as in the case of Avinash Iyer.

  2. A sad but true state of affairs! the elderly are clearly in need of vict…er….listeners as they talk and the young are in no mood to oblige. Other elderly people would rather talk than listen, which leaves them little option but to collar these hapless youngsters. There is this family lore of an elderly aunt who would begin narrating how she had gone to get some curry leaves from the market which would last a good half an hour, starting with when she woke up to what she did after that till the time she realised that there were no curry leaves in the vegetable basket 🙂

    However, keeping the two generations apart is creating further rift between the two and making for more dangerous meetings as in the case of Avinash Iyer.

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