The Few, The Proud and The Privileged

Good evening, peeps, listen up. This is your pre-boarding announcement for Flight 568 to Dubai.

We invite all first-class and business-class passengers, passengers needing special assistance, families travelling with small children, and children travelling with small families to now board the aircraft.

We now invite the Kardashian sisters, Diamond Encrusted Imperial Tiara Club members, Olympic Gold medal Winners, Facebook Founders, current and former Miss Universes and United Nations Secretary Generals to board at this time.

Thank you for waiting. We now welcome members of Rapidly Ascending Skywards Triple Advantage, Supremely Important Priority Partners, Surly Men in Suits Who Overpay for Tickets, Highly Preferred and Obnoxiously Rude Members, Members of Illuminati, Knights of the Templar, Top Dogs, Type A Cool Cats, Wealthy Tyrants of Small Islands and Top Class Numero Unos to now board the aircraft.

We appreciate your patience. We are pleased to welcome members of Silver Budget, Silver Platter, Silver Spoons, Just a Cut Above the Rest, Barely Above and Beyond, Members of Noticeable Distinction, e-Go Maniacs, Circle of Hubris, AlwaysMeFirst Super Deluxe and AlwaysMeFirst Classic Rewards Program, and You’re Standing in My Way Club. Please board the aircraft before we change our minds.

If there’s any one left, you don’t deserve to board the aircraft. Beat it.

Kalyani Anand July 24, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Loveeeeeeeeeeee it!!!!!! Keep it up Cash!

What Ho! July 26, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Thank youuuuu, Kalyani! Great to hear from you!

G.N. Balakrishnan July 28, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Such a lovely and remarkable innovative, imaginary invitation for boarding. You have observed the protocol 100%, starting with the elite business class and ending with the undeserving, least welcome common travellers.

What Ho! August 3, 2012 at 1:59 am

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.

Divya Mehta January 28, 2013 at 9:48 pm

Don’t EVER stop blogging.

What Ho! January 29, 2013 at 10:11 pm

Thank you! Appreciate your kind words.

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